Floating Boy, LLC

Atlanta, GA

Blog Posts

12/14/1997

Posted in memory of Brandy Jane Knight.

bababababababababy carrots

I got there too early. Unbeknownst to me, it was also open mic night. The guy at the door asked me if I “played laptop”. I think the blank stare answered the question.

The first act (Divided Like a Saint’s if I remember correctly) played in the middle of the bar area, completely opposite the stage. They had a drummer with a single snare and kick drum set up between the pool tables, a violin player and an accoustic guitar. No mics, no amplification. I enjoyed. It was completely preservative free, organic, free range music. The rest of the open mic acts, aside from the guy on the guitar directly after Divided Like a Saint’s, was just various forms of knob twisting and button pushing, testing the limits of hipster patience.

Grand Buffet’s new DJ (DJ Jester the Filipino Fist) warmed up the set. He was probably the only DJ “I’ve” seen spin that was actually good. At least I was able to see and appreciate the timing and style. In the end, everybody profited and felt refreshed. The cat in the hat ate all the baby carrots.

Grand Buffet

Tickets, tangibles, chips and stars

Extremely bad pictures posted in the photos section. I need a new camera.

The Fiery Furnaces and some pictures of the Tony Hawk Secret Skatepark Tour in Athens, GA.

Chief Inspector Blancheflower

I wanted to be a typewriter mender when I grew up,

But things didn’t work out so. Sleep

Late in the morning, climb up Mt. Olympia and replace a Return:

But I didn’t get enough good grades.

My uncle Peter had the Parthenon Business Machine Remediation outfit,

And right there, on the shop floor,

Hundreds of electric-selectrics, all messed up:

But I didn’t get enough good grades.

I had a dexadrine hyperactivity selective

Attend to relevant

Information tempo taken in told to

Mechanism coping concept

Put my head down crumple my paper.

Sent to look at the future-job folder-binders,

I got distracted by the graphs.

In the resource room Mrs. Petorsky re-enforced me:

Raisins from her zip-lock bag,

And free time after my target behavior I was positive about:

Tickets, tangibles, chips and stars.

Now playing I’m In My Own Little House:

Tickets, tangibles, chips and stars.

I had a dexadrine hyperactivity selective

Attend to relevant

Information tempo taken in told to

Mechanism coping concept

Put my head down crumple my paper.

After school I was sitting in the sitting room

Looking out at the pavers in their bright orange vests

Holding up the slow-go diamond plastic piece of wood,

And I knew that I’d never be any good

And never wear a hard-hat and do things like that,

So I joined the police force:

Damp in Dumbarton dip about the 14th of May.

The publican dropped me a line thought there had been foul play:

The farmer up the hill came in with his knife

He mumbled something darkly about his young wife.

Riding up on the postcoach I thrummed on my notebook.

The wind was up, I held on my hat. I do up my coat, look:

The farmer stumbled past holding his gun

He mumbled something darkly about his young son.

About your wife, sir.

What about her?

Pray, where is she?

Nowhere you’ll see.

Locked him up in the store room of Mrs. McVeigh’s Inn.

Take tea up in the manor Sir Robert Grayson.

The farmer through the window came in with his sword;

He mumbled out of breath Forgive me m’lord.

And after that rustic imposition I took a deposition

I shared a Woodpecker cider with a local fratricider

Who told me all this stuff and more:

Well I rode up to Springfield on my motorcycle

And I’s gonna stay with my younger brother Michael.

Mom’s Oxycotens and the Amstel Light

But I noticed I was doing most of the talking that night.

So I got both remotes and turned off the DVD

And said Michael is there something that you need to say to me?

Well I don’t know how to tell you.

You can tell me any

Thing that you want ‘cept I started seeing Jenny:

I started seeing Jenny.

My Jenny?

And he looked down at the floor.

You know damn well she ain’t your Jenny no more.

And I said Get her on the phone.

Don’t you think it’s a little late?

No I don’t think it’s a little late.

But I went out the room cause I knew I’d better wait

So I went down to her dad’s bakery and she said

I’m gonna go outside take a break smoke a cigarette.

I’m still surprised at how mad you get.

Well what’d you expec’?

That you wouldn’t try to wreck your little brother’s happiness.

And I said Listen to you!

I know what you’re trying to do.

And what whould that be?

Mess with Michael’s head as some kind of revenge back at me.

–So I drove up to Springfield in my wife’s new car

And went and had a drink at my buddy’s old bar.

Flying Spaghetti Monsterism

FSM

**Quoted from Wikipedia:

Flying Spaghetti Monsterism** is a satirical parody religion created to protest the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education to allow intelligent design to be taught in science classes alongside evolution.

The “religion” has become an Internet phenomenon that has garnered many “followers” of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (sometimes referring to themselves as “Pastafarians,” a pun on Rastafarians) who claim to have been touched by “His Noodly Appendage” and preach the word of their “noodly master” as the one true religion. Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is primarily the invention of Bobby Henderson, a graduate of Oregon State University with a degree in physics.

The “creator’s” website:

http://www.venganza.org/

The Aristocrats

Cartman, The Aristocrat

I haven’t seen The Aristocrats yet, I plan to rent (cough download cough). This version of the joke makes me laugh the hardest. It proves that it’s not the joke that’s that funny, it’s the delivery.

birthday pony

This is a birthday pony This is a strange kind of rest Because i feel like a guest when I’m right here at home I’m not right here at home I opened up these accounts All these separate accounts Because I can’t comprehend the single ride to the end I needed something to do and so I split into two But now the pattern takes hold I find I’m losing control Laugh boy I don’t want to be free This is a birthday pony

major rip-off

I think this falls into the “what-the-fuck-where-you-thinking dept”. Of the two images below, the left represents Minor Threat’s 1981 album, on the right an “advertising” campaign launched by Nike Skateboarding for their East Coast Tour. The fact that this is a rip-off of Minor Threat’s album cover really doesn’t bother me; the fact that the people responsible for this rip-off obviously don’t know anything about what Minor Threat as a band was or what Dischord Records stands for. The use of something produced by Dischord Records for the purpose of whoring products for a major corporation such as Nike (the greed [edit: Freudian slip, I meant greek, but it still works] goddess of whoring, if I remember correctly), is quite the kick in the balls. In my humble and not even regarded opinion, Dischord should sue the shit out of Nike, then donate proceeds from the settlement to Washington, DC based charities…major threat my ass.

![Minor Threat](/old/albums/random/x_minor.gif) ![Major Rip-off](/old/albums/random/x_major.gif)

Dischord’s Response

6.24.05

Many people have now noticed that Nike has appropriated the Minor Threat artwork and logo for a new skateboard demo / ad campaign. To set the record straight – Nike never contacted Dischord to obtain permission to use this imagery, nor was any permission granted. Simply put, Nike stole it and we’re not happy about it. We are not yet sure what options, if any, we have to stop Nike from using our images to sell their shoes, but if you would like to direct your complaints to Nike that would be a good place to start.

You can email Nike.

Or give them a call:

Nike World Headquarters: 1-800-344-6453 Mon- Fri 6:30 am - 4:50 pm (Pacific Time)

To longtime fans and supporters of Minor Threat and Dischord this must seem like just another familiar example of mainstream corporations attempting to to assimilate underground culture to turn a buck. However it is more disheartening to us to think that Nike may be successful in using this imagery to fool kids, just beginning to becoming familiar with skate culture, underground music and DIY ideals, into thinking that the general ethos of this label, and Minor Threat in particular, can somehow be linked to Nike’s mission. In any regard, we would like to thank the many people who have written to us in the last several days to express their outrage, support and encouragement.

Nike Skateboarding’s Apology

June 27, 2005

To: Minor Threat, Dischord Records and fans of both

Re: Major Threat East Coast Tour Poster

Nike Skateboarding sincerely apologizes for the creation of a tour poster inspired by Minor Threat’s album cover. Despite rumors being circulated, Weiden & Kennedy and Odopod had nothing to do with the creation of this tour poster and should not be held accountable. To set the record straight, Nike Skateboarding’s “Major Threat” Tour poster was designed, executed and promoted by skateboarders, for skateboarders. All of the Nike employees responsible for the creation of the tour flyer are fans of both Minor Threat and Dischord records and have nothing but respect for both.

Minor Threat’s music and iconographic album cover have been an inspiration to countless skateboarders since the record came out in 1981. And for the members of the Nike Skateboarding staff, this is no different. Because of the album’s strong imagery and because our East Coast tour ends in Washington, DC, we felt it was a perfect fit. This was a poor judgement call and should not have been executed without consulting Minor Threat and Dischord Records.

We apologize for any problems this may have caused, and want to make very clear that we have no relationship with the members of Minor Threat, Dischord Records and they have not endorsed our products. We would also like to extend an apology to Susie Josephson Horgan, the photographer who took the original photo for the Minor Threat album.

Every effort has been made to remove and dispose of all flyers (both print and digital). Again, Nike Skateboarding sincerely apologizes to Minor Threat and Dischord Records.

Sincerely,

Nike Skateboarding

everything i find, i keep

yestarday started like any other day. I woke up…late, rushed to work, and wandered aimlessly towards the end of the day. i had no idea that i would end my day shaking hands with Ian Mackaye. it’s hard to put to words. this person’s music kept me sane.

The Evens - signed cover

check the photos section for photos from the show.

portions for foxes

Rilo Kiley pictures posted. yeah, it was 2 weeks ago. yeah i’m just now posting it. yeah, i’ve got better things to do. like nothing at all. jenny lewis said to tell everyone “hi”.

Jenny Lewis

Portions For Foxes video

distractions

losing focus. constantly looking for something to take my mind off the last thing i was doing. a perpetual state of digression, taking on endless tangents until i’m so lost and uninterested i have no control over my impulses and don’t care about what would seem to be important things.

my right upper arm goes into muscle spasms from time to time, only at work during the day it seems.

see case in point, that last bit had nothing to do with anything.

i hope i never go deaf. i would like to smoke a cigar. i wonder if anyone has sent me any email. i want a diet coke. i have to pee. using dbmscopy to import excel spreadsheets into oracle creates retarded column types. goddamnit, i have songs missing from albums in iTunes. when i call someone on my cell phone, i can’t hear anything, maybe i should throw it against the fucking wall. that actually worked. i got something done today.

where the buffalo roam

this will encompass a couple of days…

so, i walked into Kenneth Cole friday, because i’m all about high fashion, and to what do my wondering ears do i hear. The Postal Service. and i have no point.

next topic.

so, i’m riding this shuttle from Denver to Keystone, and this guy named Mitch is hitting on every single woman in the goddamn van (there’s 6 of them), i did every thing in my power to not laugh my ass off at this guy (mostly the reason i didn’t is b/c i really had to piss, but i digress). this guy dropped more names than i’ve ever heard in my entire life. Let’s make a list, shall we.

As stated in the never ending “storytelling” by this guy Mitch.

  1. His daughter is marrying (name drop #1) Brad Pitt’s…nephew.

  2. He recently had lunch with…Tom Selleck.

  3. Was in some meeting with Jimmy Carter and Teddy Rosevelt’s grandson that had something to do with providing water to Las Vegas. (I swear to fucking christ i’m not making this shit up)

  4. Now this last one i didn’t catch exactly the 2 names he dropped, i had my earphones in trying to ignore this asshole, but it had something to do with fishing with someone named “gary” (in my mind i inserted Gary Coleman) and someone else that i can’t remember the name of but was so “impressed?” with this guy, he sent him his “out of print” book signed, i wish i could remember who it was, but it really doesn’t matter, b/c i’ve never heard so much bullshit in my life in such a short time span.

to back track a bit, the plane ride over was also a demon hell ride. the plane was the vessel for a senior class trip to a dude ranch, thank the fucking gods for headphones, i would have rather the plane be filled with screaming babies. i had this eerie feeling that the plane was going to crash on the fact that these kids didn’t deserve to live.

a hescher's joyride

there’s no excuse for leaving my camera. i can’t believe i left my camera.

decemberists

jesus of the summer of '69

i’ve been racking my brain to figure this out, and it just hit me. the song “by” green day “jesus of the suburbia” rips off the chorus melody from bryan adam’s “summer of ‘69”. i can’t be the only person that’s heard this. i’d post samples of each, but how are you going to learn to do anything for yourself if i do that? you lazy bastard.

also, i was watching garden state again the other day and i distinctly heard Ice-T’s “I’m your pusher” playing in the background. what i want to know is, why wasn’t it on the soundtrack? answer that mr. smartass, Zach Braff.

mood: iMood music: iMusic

music moves me

after breaking 2 mp3 players, i finally decided to get the real deal. the iPod. why i didn’t do this in the first place? who knows. why am i doing it now? who cares. the point is…well there is no point, i have an iPod nah nah na na boo boo. well, it’s in china at the moment, shanghia to be exact. should be here wednesday.

on an all together unrelated topic, i just found out i’m going to keystone, co in a couple of weeks for a conference or something, who cares, i’m going snowboarding on the company dime.

last but not least, i get to fail my calculus II final tomorrow and be done with it. who/whom ever is responsible for calculus should have there balls crushed. shudder i just made myself cringe.

iPod

mood: going through the motions music: mock orange

hi, my name is frankie hill...

the first skateboard i ever owned, that was bought for me, brand new was frankie hill’s first pro deck from powell peralta, the bulldog. i skated that board into oblivion. the nose, the tail, skated to nubs. it finally broke not long after i did my first handrail. i kept the board’s 2 pieces for a long time and eventually lost them. i also owned, if i can remember correctly, frankie’s last board from powell peralta, the v2 slipskin (bullshit) Frank Tank. this board was also skated to peices, and the crappy v2 slipskin shit peeled off. frankie hill left powell at some point and skated for consolidated, then as far as i know, just disappeared. i’ve always wondered what the hell happened to my favorite skateboarder, the guy who inspired me to put my life on the line for a set of stairs, or an insane gap. the guy who taught me to really pull a fat ollie, just by looking at his pictures in magazines, so tucked with his knees up by his ears, flying through the air. after all this time, he’s back. skating for Revolver. paycheck frankie hill

mood: big fat ollie one foot music: stars

hanging a hammock

i hung a hammock today. was easier than i thought and worked exactly as planned. i won’t be able to lie (lay?) in it until tomorrow. on another note, i don’t like massively complicated relational databases, let me re-phrase, i don’t like designing massively complicated relational databases. too much pressure. i need a nap.

“I once thought I had mono for a whole year. Turns out I was just really bored.” -wayne cambell

mood: mono music: the arcade fire

Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)

I woke up with the power out,

not really something to shout about.

Ice has covered up my parents hands

don’t have any dreams don’t have any plans.

I went out into the night,

I went out to find some light.

Kids are swingin’ from the power lines,

nobody’s home, so nobody minds.

I woke up on the darkest night,

neighbors all were shoutin’ that they found the light.

(“We found the light”)

Shadows jumpin’ all over my walls

some of them big, some of them small.

I went out into the night.

I went out to pick a fight with anyone.

Light a candle for the kids,

Jesus Christ don’t keep it hid!

Ice has covered up my parents hands

don’t have any dreams don’t have any plans.

Growin’ up in some strange storm,

nobody’s cold, nobody’s warm.

I went out into the night,

I went out to find some light.

Kids are dyin’ out in the snow,

look at them go, look at them go!

And the power’s out in the heart of man,

take it from your heart put in your hand.

What’s the plan?

Is it a dream? Is it a lie?

I think I’ll let you decide.

Just light a candle for the kids,

Jesus Christ don’t keep it hid!

Cause nothin’s hid, from us kids!

You ain’t foolin’ nobody with the lights out!

And the power’s out in the heart of man,

take it from your heart put in your hand.

And there’s something wrong in the heart of man,

you take it from your heart and put it in your hand!

Where’d you go?

mood: smoky music: the arcade fire

dysfunction

i found this on theresa’s website. it qualifies for hindsight. watch me make silly faces.

dysfunction

mood: eye boogers music: yes please

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